The Star Fisher Page 6

  “It doesn't seem to have had that effect. Church and state have been in league from the beginning, and for a reason. They both are high artists in the creation of fable and masters of disguise. They both use God for their own ends and means.”

  The young man said,

  “I don't know, but perhaps it is the powers behind the curtains? I am just a simple country boy, but I do know when that which is dark calls itself light, I look to notice if there are soft shadows being made. I do know to call a soul a saint after rendering the body of its parts is a power not in league with what is love.”

  “That which is love is only love. That which is not love sometimes gives the appearance of love and other times does not. Only by gaining the knowledge of the pure wonder in each soul can the world of men come to their greatest life. It is each soul's burden and responsibility.”

  The young man listened to all that the beautiful woman said and found it meaningful and truthful. He said,

  “Very well then. I will seek to discover this field and found this age of wonder. I will call for this age and dare mankind to wonder.”

  “Then it is settled. But first you must be tested to see if you are worthy. All that is wonderful will be taken from you. All except your capacity to know wonder. And over many years will you be tested.”

  The angel's beginner course

  in worldly philosophy

  If he was to be tested he must know wisdom, so the angel then gave to him the beginning of wisdom. She said:

  “A risk-free wisdom is to be found in generalities, but not a great wisdom. Generalities cover all bases. True wisdom knows which base, why and when—which means that no man is all wise and never could be. You must purchase at the market of the world your own particular wisdom but to haggle the best price a general wisdom must be mastered. A general knowledge of the real world is based in the understanding of negative and antagonistic forces and realities. If you would not walk into the world a fool sheep to be fleeced, rely on a pessimistic philosophy to steer you clear, or to warn beforehand, of the worst of men. Society in general is neither highly rational nor fully civilized and is mostly organized insanity, except in small parts at particular times; when it is insanity disorganized. Most of the time it is insanity at bay. The pessimistic philosopher understands this.

  “Society is a conglomeration of social clubs. The preponderance of all adherents to any club are in it, not for any high ideal, but because the club is the largest, most reputable club and acts as a crutch for their fears and weakness. By religion, they seek to gain the wealth of Heaven for themselves, rather than be wealthy givers of it. By the state, they seek to gain the wealth of the world rather than be wealthy givers to it. But Heaven cannot be gained, only discovered within. And the world may be gained without, but at a price that often bankrupts. These are general truths only, and to blindly follow them will make criminals and devils of all, and by that you will risk missing the saint and the hero among the rabble. In each club are noble servants.

  “The world is a great money-pot and is the true, one and only god worshiped by many. All serve The Great Money-pot in one way or another. How men make money and what they do with it defines every true and false thing about them. There are five basic clubs of service: state, religion, money, god, and life. To serve one club discounts any genuine service to any other, at least during the time of service to the one. There cannot be two masters at any one time. Rare the servant that cross-serves, but if so, then only those who serve god and life do so, as those are one and the same. Few who serve the club of the state serve life or god, but are servants to money's dictates and use religion for credibility to disguise nefarious deeds. Many of these begin their service unenlightened and come to be confused about what they truly serve, and if they go past confusion they become corrupted, depressed or find another club to join. Few who serve the club of religion serve God, but are true servants to the money club and use the club of God for worldly means to personal ends. Most of these know well their darker truths and hide them behind polite society. Few who serve the money club—and serve it well—serve anything else, and the most successful of them are usually the most honest about their choice of club and why. Few who serve the club of life serve state, religion or money, but are subject to state, religion and money. So the money club wins the power struggle, one way or another, with near all, and near all are subjects to it.

  “The servant of money who has built a fortune may then serve life through philanthropy. This is often a returning of ill-got profits so as to be worthy of the entrance to Heaven. Wealthy money-changers charge above value, then give back a portion of that in charity, so called. The largest charity on earth is the state and those who serve it produce the most—of waste and destruction. There are two essential reasons for this: the ambitious corrupt the state by using it for their own wicked, selfish ends; and the state uses wealth it did not honestly earn, and even worse, has not the grace of being grateful for having received, but considers it their inalienable right to have so received. A debased state is when the powers of those in it are considered by themselves non-negotiable, inviolable and absolute. And this is the eventual end of all states, however nobly begun. Give the state an inch and the state will eventually take the ruler and measure your coffin with it. Those who truly seek god through the club of religion are like little ducklings following the turtle in the water. It is slow-going, but one day may lead them back to mother duckling.

  “Existence is a continual seeking of employment. The honest man employs himself toward noble ends that he himself or she herself creates and builds. Those of the state employ the fist of the nation to take what they want for themselves, whether it be land, power, or simple respect. Those of religion employ the fist of God. Those of money employ money and often along with that, the state. Those of life, employ reason.

  “In a world not corrupted, each could serve in each of the categories and remain uncorrupted. In a corrupted world, all bets are off, the die has already been cast, and the winner knows who will win before the die rolls to a stop. Any one soul may serve nobly in any one club, but they are bound to become an outcast, for they will have to buck the status quo.

  “Most all can feel grateful for what is pleasurable, but rare the soul that can feel grateful for what is painful. But there is lesson in all. There is the chance of wealth of life and being in all things, especially those things that are painful. If you can learn to acknowledge and discover the great value in struggle and loss, then you will never feel impoverished. This is the first and last rule of wonder, that rare wonder which will compose and create true wealth and wise life.

  “Wonder is the first step of creation. Nothing wondered and came of it the first pebble. The pebble wondered and came from it the first rock. The rock wondered and came of it the first planet. This was not what the pebble had in mind, so the planet was broken back down and the pebble worked and wondered again. Then came from the first pebble the universe. This was what the pebble had in mind. After the universe was formed, it wondered and then came the first star. And then the first star wondered and gave birth to other stars and on and on, until the universe was filled with stars. The light of stars wondered, and came of it, life. Before the pebble created life out of a universe of nothing, the pebble had complained for an eternity that there was nothing to create from. And then the pebble stopped complaining and built from nothing, everything. The universe kept on working and wondering. And so now life wonders, and none can yet know what will come of that. Wonder is the original state of nothing, and from it came and will come, everything.

  “Concerning the wisdom and knowledge of men: if you have never worn the disguises of poverty in all its various forms, you can be sure you know nothing concerning the actual thought or spirit of men in general or particular. That's to say, of all you have ever met and all you know well—even your best of friends, your spouse or your sibling—these you know no more than the first thing of; which is the thing they have told y
ou. Your knowledge is elementary. To know the real truth of most, you must know the things they won't tell you, but will show you. And most, being intent on keeping their true selves hidden, will show nothing in the open unless it be with one they have no respect for, or one they respect absolutely, by the power of love. Wear the cloaks of poverty if you would know the full truth of souls who do not love you absolutely.

  “Seek the opinions of men to know what they think, but give no credence to them in personal or weighty matters; for they are generally no better than the knowledge a dog may have; and just as annoying as the yapping of one and besides, they cannot know what is right for some other path, only what has been right for them. And how many are ever right in that? Most opinions are rubbish that has been recycled many times and comes from a place of fear and ignorance. Men believe so easily in other's opinions because they would rather work for pennies a day than be given a gold bar for one original thought. Men are lazy in the mind and active in the body because the movement of the body is pleasurable, gives immediate dividends and can be gauged by visible standards, while the work of the mind is invisible, does not bring immediate dividends nor is it active pleasure. One rare, great thought is a greater labor than a house and one great book out-equals a skyscraper. You will find much not to like in many people overmuch, but the ones you do find to like, like them very much. If you come to know one great love, one great friend, one great mind and one great soul in this life, count yourself rare in great luck. Great things generally require the one that knows a greatness in the other to also be that great thing in themselves and that is half the reason why ever knowing tandem great things is so rare. Few ever know even one of each but in passing, and rarely do they perceive when they have passed.

  “Beware, when dealing with others, their seeking to foist upon you their own brand of ignorance; either by telling you something they wish you to believe or telling you, directly or indirectly, something about yourself they wish you to believe. In general, if they consider you inferior they will scoff to your face. If they consider you superior they will scoff behind your back. If they consider you equal, they will seek to befriend. Those who wish to use you will be nice, but so too will be those who wish to serve you. Time will help you come to know the difference. You will meet very few wise and good souls who neither judge you as inferior or superior, but as a being on your own path and neither behind or ahead, just in different places. Be circumspect with all who are not friends. And remember what I said about friendships.

  “So do not hope to like all men, because not all are likeable. Do not wish to like all women for the same reason. And judging on the first impression is a fool's guess. The gut sense in most is nothing more than a waste receptacle for the particulate of prejudice and cannot be counted on for veracity. You will find, in general, that women are more cruel by natural disposition while men must come to it; and then they may go to it better than the woman's natural disposition to it. A great woman is greater than a great man—for all she must overcome to be great—and so is far more rare and difficult to find.

  “There are few absolutely great souls in this life but you may read of many of them. In all the world, you may meet with only one truly and absolutely despicable soul, but you will read of many of them. Perhaps it is that biography and news reports are the true fiction while fiction is the lie that tells the truth. The maker of fables should go to biography and the social pages to learn how to write fables. But of all the teachers of how to write fable, none match the powers and principalities. The difference being the lie of powers is nearly always ugly and most times to no good or great end—being designed by overly-educated simpletons with ulterior ambitions that prevents their own plans from succeeding—while the lies of fiction hinge upon the elucidation of some beautiful truth. Every future fabulist should first learn from the masters of the social pages, politics and state how to spin a tale and compose a novel story. The tale-making capacity of these have been around since the first village, so they have had age upon age to perfect their artistry. In their handed-down oral and written traditions, these clubs are the master story-makers.

  “Were it not for the good and bright souls there would only be dark and bad souls and the race would be without merit. But even the despicable souls are worth who knows how much, for even a devil may give birth to an angel. So no mind is wise enough to know who is worthy and who is not. The worst kind of persons hide their darkness behind the false light of society some way—and there are many of these ways—often with acts of charity and benevolence. And they are sure to tell the world of it. Genuine charity is always private and counterfeit charity is always public. If your friend helps you and then tells others of it, is that a friend and is that true charity? Why the different naming of things that are the same thing? Ask yourself this question when you are confused by appearances and the answer will become obvious. Sly synonyms are important to seekers of power. These experts at synonyms and euphemisms seek power for themselves and call it service to others. Spiritual light is not found in society-at-large but in the spirit of the individual. Society is an edifice of perception. It exists in minds only. Dreadful souls who hide their dark truths in these ways would scoff at me for saying these things. They would attempt to belittle these truths. The good and wise who know I speak truth would smile and shake their heads that I say them.

  “Most wish more than all else to be happy and by that, smile their way past their chance to become wise, which is their only real chance at true joy. Some seek too much wisdom and ponder deeply past their chance at happiness. Both happiness and wisdom are overrated. It is simple good luck most should wish to have. What is wise today may be foolish tomorrow; what is foolish today, wise tomorrow. But good luck always wins, and is not dependent on one being a sap-head or a sage.

  “But two things above all things, remember: First, to give to all the benefit of the doubt and to imagine the best of them and to not assume the worst. And by that, you may help them to bring out the best and leave the worst behind. Believe in the goodness of souls, while acknowledging the hard truths of reality. And second: Wisdom is not required if you have lots of cash, for then you may walk into the world a happy fool, knowing you have the means to pay for the power trips others will be taking at your expense.”

  When she finished speaking the dreamer saw a boy with a bird in his hand and a girl watching the boy. And then he saw the girl fall and the bird fly away and the dream ended. The young dreamer woke and the memory of the dream and the beautiful woman was vanished in his mind. He saw that the yellow light of the day had given way to dark storm clouds. There was a great wind buffeting the dust off the street and a few birds braved the skies. The yellow hope of the day had turned to a dark reality.

  The young man stood and walked into the days and years of his life and all that the beautiful woman had said was authenticated by the reality of the world. And she was true to her word: all that was wonderful—or could have been wonderful—was taken away, except the young man's capacity to know wonder. Despite and against the reality of a long and great despairing, he would always be able to re-discover in himself a rare and great wonder. And he wondered at it, this wonder in him. Why did he seek it so? Why was it so important? He would not remember the dream for a very long time.

  The Mountain

  September 22, 1963

  So three years of days, months, seasons and letters passed. Her final letter informed him they would make a trip to the top of her mountain. He wrote back that he would rather hike it than take the horses and so he made a trip back to her and they hiked a full day's uphill trek. They followed the trail which meandered seven miles to near the top where, half a mile from the summit, they made it to an old cabin with a cornerstone dated 1926.

  After a day's walk they were both tired and immediately sunk into the Adirondack chairs on the porch. He was soon fast asleep, with a half-smoked cigar stuck between the fingers of his vascular hand as it hung at his side. She stayed awake and watc
hed him, this man who had the flat tire in front of her home and who had never seemed a stranger.

  She watched him for half an hour then cleared her throat. His eyes opened and a smile spread across his face. He woke so bright-eyed it made her wonder if he had been awake the whole time. He stood and stretched and looked over the mountain. A thousand acres and all theirs. He unlocked the front door and went in, coming back out with cold drinks. She took the orange Sunkist. He asked,

  “How do you feel after that long hike?”

  “Invigorating. It's been a long time since I have hiked up a thousand-acre mountain; in fact, it is the very first time I ever did it. I have always used the horses.”

  He smiled and sat, “Ah, yes. The hike. It's a wonderful way to stretch the muscles of the body, the thoughts of the mind and the dreams in the soul. Every person should hike a thousand-acre mountain at least once in their lives, if not many times, in fact.” He paused a moment, then said, “It's the second best way to know a mountain. The first best way is to walk it on the back of a horse.”

  He winked at her and she returned the gesture.

  He put his cigar to his nose and smelled its aroma, lifting his chest then letting the breath out slow. He asked, “Do you smoke?”

  “Never have tried a cigar.”

  He was astonished.

  “Never?”

  “Never.”

  He stood so quickly she looked around for a fire or rabid bear she hadn't noticed. He said,

  “Well then. We must remedy that. Hold the post, I'll be right back.”

  He entered the cabin and she heard his boots walk across the planks, then back. He strode out with an expensive cigar. After cutting the tip he set it on the arm-rest of her Adirondack.

  “I called ahead and had my man stock the cabin with the necessities. There, try that. I guarantee you it will change your life and make, if not a man of you, at least a happier woman.”